Open letter to The Cough

Hey, Cough. Yeah, I’m talkin to you. LEAVE MY BABY ALONE. Ever since you announced your presence at 3 a.m. on Friday, December 7, (yes, yes, I do remember the very day and hour) you have totally taken over her body and her personality. I realize you must serve some purpose, but come on. Have you no common sense? Surely you realize you have more than over-stayed your welcome. Take that mucous you got rattling around back there in her throat and GET OUT. I mean, the Fever left, and so did the Pain and Ear Infection. Haven’t you done your job already?? You rob the child of her smiles, stop her attempts at conversation, and make it impossible for anyone to get any quality sleep around here. Every time you stop her breath, you stop my heart. STOP IT. So, whatever you’ve got to do, do it already and leave. You can’t stay here. That is all.